Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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