There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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