A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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