found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Boobs are out for the taking
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
