when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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