She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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