Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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