I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
