you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No more Irish car bombs ever.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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