The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
