we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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