dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
