Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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