Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
