I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
