I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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