Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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