and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
