She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize