woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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