Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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