please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
try to milk me bitch
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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