i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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