And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
