if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
