I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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