smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
