i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
