checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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