party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
