It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
