Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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