Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
COCAINE IS GR8
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
