Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
