The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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