it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You are the jesus of drinking
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize