She is in my trunk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
