What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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