The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
