i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
