he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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