It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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