And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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