And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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