I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
