A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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