i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
