You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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