Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Are my feet made of real feet?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
