he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
