What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
