She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
