how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
