wrigley field is MILF paradise
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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