? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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