Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Houston, we have a squirter
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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