i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You are a genius and a whore.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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