One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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