I heard we made out
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
