This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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