yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
