Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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